My Mom's day

Today is my mother's birthday & I choose to remember her through this post. She died rather unexpectedly but in a way that was easy for her and for everybody. She didn't die of any lingering disease. Perhaps, it was God's loving way of taking her.

If there is one word that could describe my mother, it would be PATIENT. She is the most patient woman I have ever known. When I was a child, I wasn't really that close to her. I was more of a daddy's girl but as I entered my teens and became a mother, I became closer to her. Being a well kept woman that she was, she would make sure that she looked presentable even at her old age. She enjoys buying clothes and shoes and would share with me her latest finds. Visits to the mall is something that we both enjoy.

When I was in my teens, I would ask extra money from her when I would have meet-ups with my friends and she would readily give me. When I had my suitors, I would not hesitate to confide to her knowing that she would understand. All throughout my growing up years, there was only one instance wherein my mom spanked me.

She was also a good cook and it is unfortunate that she seldoms does this. She is a working mother and handles our family business full time especially when my daddy got sick.I would always look forward to her cooking of Paksiw na Pata.

We also had our share of misunderstandings especially when I started having a family of my own. There was one incident wherein she would bring my 2 year old daughter alone, without a yaya or baby sitter at McDonald's. I totally disapproved of this because she was not as strong as she used to be and she would be forgetful at times. But through it all, she was someone I could count on to look over my kids when I am out.

The saying that you only get to appreciate your mom when you start having a child of you own is really true. I miss my mom terribly and how I wish she is still with us.

Zambales

I am writing this post in Villa Veneranda resort here in Iba, Zambales for a much needed R & R. A definite stress buster! This is already Day 2 of our vacation and we plan to stay here for a week. The atmosphere of being in the province is a welcome alternative to the chaos and pollution of Manila. As I write this, my kids are taking a swim and playing. I always make it a point to bring them here every summer and they always look forward to this with great anticipation.

As a mom, I believe that bringing your kids to the province enriches their character. Why? Simply because it takes them away from the television, computers and malls. These things that seems like a way of life already for a person residing in the city. It is also a chance for them to be exposed to the Zambalenos and see how life is so simple here. All of my kids except the eldest go gaga over riding a tricycle. Since I do not know who could be reading this blog and for the benefit of non-Filipino readers, it would be best to explain what a tricycle is. A tricycle is a motorcyle wherein a small and open carriage is attached. The carriage can accomodate 2 to 3 passengers. It is the usual mode of transportation in the province. When going to the "bayan" or town, they would prefer riding a tricycle than our van.

Aside from this, they meet the kids of some of the workers here and later on becomes their playmates. Here, they seldom watch television. Usually they would feed the monkeys and rabbits and run around the place. The fresh air and sunshine brings a rosy glow to their skin.

Tomorrow, we plan to go to Potipot island. I'll share our experiences there. Till the next post.

A Stroke of Sadness

It has been almost 3 years since my father-in-law underwent an open heart surgery at Asian Medical Hospital. Now he is back for suffering a stroke. He was brought from Zambales to Manila for immediate medical treatment upon the doctor's advise. So today, I accompanied my husband to visit him. It wasn't that good since he is in ICU and most likely will suffer a partial paralysis. A therapy is seen forthcoming.

As I look at him in lying in his hospital bed sedated, I remembered my own dad when he suffered the same fate. The thought of not being able to do what you want to do & depend on others for even the basic things can be a definite source of depression for a man who has led an active life. I guess, my father-in-law, who is stubborn when it comes to his diet, will have to learn his lesson the hard way.

All of a sudden, I felt a surge of sadness for him. You see, I have grown fond of my father-in-law through the years that I've known him. Although he is not the typical grandfather to my kids, he tries to show his affection in a way that he knows. My kids would always look forward to go to "Lolo Kit's" place every chance that they could get. He was full of vigor, ideas & a good businessman. He has his imperfections, many in fact, but despite that, he is easy to get along with that you would dismiss those flaws right away.

I just pray that he would be able to recover so that my kids would be able to get back the old "Lolo Kit" that they always knew.

Stress Busters

"Oh my God! I'm so stressed! What should I do?"

Often, I would hear my friends tell me this. But in reality, who isn't stressed? Everybody experiences stress, even children. But do you know that there is good stress and bad stress? Stress can be good for you when you experience it in moderation and forces you to excel or do your best. However, when stress is given in long periods of time and your body can not handle it anymore then that stress becomes bad or excessive.

As a working mom with 4 kids, I am often under stress. The chaos of our house with little boys running everywhere, the sound of the TV, the task of managing the household & the demands of my work really transforms me into a witch. My husband would always tell me to take it in strides but it is easier said than done.

Thus, I decided to write this to help others & also as a reminder to myself. It may or may not work for you but who knows?

1. Learn to recognize your stress. Most of us would just say "I'm stressed!" but it would help if we determine the cause of our stress. Often the cause of our stress is just in our mind and when we analyze it, it shouldn't cause so much worry. Also learning to distinguish what is good & bad stress can help alleviate the situation.

2. Can I do something about it? Ask yourself first this question if you are stressed about something. If you can do something to correct the situation then do it. However, in most situations, it is out of our hands. Example, you are stressed that you turned down an invitation by your mother-in-law for a lunch over this weekend. This is a last minute invitation and you have made plans earlier for the weekend with your bestfriend whom you haven't seen for a long time. You start to worry that your mother-in-law will take your refusal negatively. So how do we handle the situation? First, see if you can fix your schedule. If no arrangements can be made, choose and decide. Whatever you decide, stand by it and do not think anymore of what the other person will think. It is futile and a waste of energy. You can not control what the other person will think but you can control your decisions.

3. Organize, Prioritize & Delegate. Nothing beats proper planning. This will spare you from the stress of cramming & rushing. With all the multitude of tasks we have to accomplish, knowing what is important and what is not will make a big difference. Delegating the not so important tasks will ease the burden you have on your shoulders. Remember, you are not Superman.

4. Do something you ENJOY. Get a breather, anything that will take your mind off your work or responsibilities.

• Take up a hobby - It can be cross stitch, collecting items, gardening, beading etc. There are countless hobbies that you can start. I recently discovered Scrapbooking and I really enjoyed it. Start a project that you can work at your own pace.
• Watch a movie - This will relieve you of your worries for at least 2 hours. It's cheap and you can do it with your friends or loved one.
• Read a book - Reading feeds our imagination. It enables us to experience life vicariously. So, set aside time each day to read a book. It can be just a few pages but pretty soon you'll be surprised that you have read the whole book already.
• Pamper yourself - If you have the money, go to your fave salon and be treated like a queen. If you're tight on the budget, a DIY pampering will work as well. There are lots of beauty products available that you can do on your own. Shut yourself in your room, put on a soft music, light scented candles for that special effect and give yourself a hair spa, manicure & pedicure.
• Move that body - One sure way to cure stress is to exercise. When we exercise, we release "happy" hormones. It doesn't have to be in an expensive fitness center. Just take a walk around the park or in your neighborhood or play badminton with your kids. Before the game is over, you will be in a good mood already.
• Keep a journal - For some, writing what transpired helps ease the stress. It can be a diary or a blog. Whatever your tool is, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you were able to express your thoughts.
• Feed your soul - Stress is brought about by worries. And what better way to let go of these thoughts but to talk to God. Pray and talk to Him, tell Him your woes and you will feel better. Prayer does not always have to be in the church. It can be anywhere as long as you feel at ease.

The list could go on and on and you are welcome to add your own stress buster technique. Do not be afraid to try. Finally, put stress in a different perspective. We all need stress in our lives. Life would be too bland if everything is working out just right. It's not life anymore and stress is part of being human. In the end, it all boils down one thing.

Love yourself, Relax and leave the driving to God.