Hercules

Recently acquired a male Chihuahua as a gift for my son who celebrated his 7th birthday. It was a choice between a puppy and a PSP. Suprisingly my son chose the puppy. At first, I was hesitant knowing that having a pet is not a walk in the park. It's like having another child but after considering the vote of the celebrant, and my desire not to give another hand held game device, the Chihuahua won over the PSP.

The next question is what breed we would get. Unanimous vote is a small breed dog. I wanted a low-maintenance dog that doesn't shed that much, doesn't consume that much dog food & can be kept in an apartment such as ours. After consulting the internet & asking around, it was decided that we will get a Chihuahua.

So we visited different Chihuahua breeders to see for ourselves the puppies. Finally, we got ourselves a male chocolate reddish brown Chihuahua from a reputable breeder. He conforms well to the standard breed and does not have any major defaults. One look at him and I know he was for our family. His eyes stare at you with such inquisition. I immediately fell in love with him!

Naming him was another cause for debate. Suggestions like Oreo, Toblerone, Choc-nut and more came out but finally we named him Hercules. He may lack in size but he definitely brings us enormous joy. The kids adore him & he comes with us everywhere; in our out of town trips, beach, car rides & bringing the kids to school. He comes with us everywhere as long as the place permits.

Having a pet in a family teaches the kids responsibility. They take turns taking care of him like feeding him, replenishing the water in his bottle, cleaning his poop, playing with him & more. Seeing Hercules grow healthy and strong, I know he is well loved by all of us.

Solo Flight

With 4 kids and with no helper for 6 straight months, I am trying to keep my sanity. I do everything. I wake up at 4:30 am, cook breakfast and prepare them for school, bring and fetch them to school as well. Aside from this I do our mountain of laundry, do the shopping for groceries, clean the house, teach the young kids, pay the bills & attend PTAs. My free time is only between 7am to 10am which I use for praying, checking my emails & preparing my orders for eBay. After 10am, I'm busy as a rat always running from one chore to another.

Our house would be quiet at 9pm & it would be my time for some solitude. I savour this because this is my opportunity to do whatever I want at my own pace. I can surf the internet, watch TV, read a book or newspaper, and even apply treatments on my hair. But sadly, I don't do much except read the newspaper or 2 pages at the most of my book. Don't have the energy anymore, ha ha! Later than 10pm, and I'm already groggy with sleepiness. It is really physically demanding. At times, I miss the days when I am a "lady of leisure" and regret that I do not have much time for myself. Hey, I miss going to the salon or taking a nap in the afternoon or basically doing.... nothing.

But still, at the end of the day, I thank the Lord for the blessings that I have & for making me physically fit to take care of my kids and not be the one to be taken cared of. I also get to enhance my time management skills as a Domestic Engineer aka Stay-at-Home mom!

Recently, I've been having conflicts with my 14 year old son. They say that God gave us 13 years to love our kids because we would need all that love when they reach their adolescent years. All, all I can say is it is TRUE! Raising a teenage son could be quite a feat to handle. It's like having a love-hate relationship. Often, I would like to squeeze his neck to bring sense to him but at the same time embrace him.

Parenting is no easy task. Doing it on a solo flight makes it even harder. There is no vacation or days-off even when there are days that you feel like not getting up or have a simple headache. There's just nobody to rely on. The team that I thought I had vanished into thin air & I found myself all alone.

Nevertheless, I still believe that there is nothing that one couldn't handle. Each of us will have our moment of difficulty. It is my time now. It is the season of rain for my life. I welcome it believing that only after the rain will the rainbow come.

Of Rains and Memories

For the first time since the start of summer, I did not have the fan pointed directly at me. It's raining and much as I hate getting wet, it is a clear and much welcome respite from the humidity that we all felt during the summer months. Last week was the start of the rainy season as what PAGASA (our weather bureau in Manila) said so we better brace ourselves for more rains, floods and more traffic.

Plants get their much needed water during the rainy season, the grass seems greener every time it rains, and we tend to be a in a slowdown mode during this season. While typing, it is both soothing & pleasant to hear the sound of the rain on my roof with a cup of coffee on my table.

One of my fondest memories of the rainy season is when my mom would whip up a hot chicken macaroni soup to match the weather. With a lot of milk and flaked chicken, I would blow it impatiently. The feel of the warm soup running in my throat is enough to quench a child's boredom in being confined indoors.

With my own family, I'm not a good cook as my mom was but we do have our own memories to share. When the lights are out because of a storm, we would all gather in the living room and take turns telling stories to keep us pre-occupied. With all the darkness surrounding us and with just a candle, scary stories become the fave topic among all. It may sound so simple but that simplicity itself makes it endearing as it makes us bond more to each other. The absence of the TV, radio or computer makes us break free from the distractions that hound us everyday.

Well, that goes for my rainy season memory bank. Care to share yours?

Why Not?

I have 4 kids and I am proud of it.

Yes, I have been blessed to be given the chance to be the mother of four wonderful & hyperactive kids. When people ask how many kids I have & I tell them I have four, I usually get the response, " Wow, ang dami ah! Bakit?" Translated in English, it's "Wow, too many! How come?" The "how come" question implies why I allowed it to become that many. But, I just smile and shrug it off knowing that I should know better than be affected by those remarks. Sometimes, when I'm in a good mood, I simply reply "Oo nga." or "Yes, it's true."

I have 3 boys and 1 girl and I call them my Demolition team. My Demolition team is also one of the reasons why I resigned from my corporate job. I need to have a flexible time so as to focus more on raising them. I wouldn't be able to do that if somebody else owns my time. Thank God, I was able to find a way to earn my own money by having an online business. This enables me to be a stay-at-home mom and at the same time be financially independent.

Having 4 kids has challenged me in many ways. It tested my patience, my stamina and above all my faith in Him. Believe me when I say it isn't easy to raise 4 kids, wherein most of the time, I am alone with them. When you have 1 child, you put in your effort already but when you have 4 kids, a quadruple effort is needed.

My multi-tasking skills were put to test every day as I jumble my regular tasks. I have become adept at cooking and at the same time answering emails from clients, helping them in their homework and at the same time sending out projects, talking on the phone and dressing up my son to name a few.

As if that wasn't difficult enough, just last week, I had gone solo without a house help so I was left doing all the things in the house. From driving to cooking to cleaning to doing the laundry to washing the dishes to answering emails from clients and a whole lot more, I thought I can not make it through the day. But not only did I survive the day, I made it through the week.

I have also learned to appreciate solitude. Our house is only quiet a few hours a day when 3 of my kids are at school. During weekends, it gets crazier. Amidst the fighting, playing, shouting & bickering, I crave for some "quiet time" wherein I could have all my thoughts to myself.

It has also made me look at things in life not on what is ideal but what is possible at the moment. For one, our house is always in shambles. Before, I was obsessed in keeping our house orderly but after having my 3rd child, I gave up. It's not that I let the house go but somehow, I have learned to make allowances and accepted the fact that I have kids in the house. Vases will be broken, stains will be made in the sofa or elsewhere, there will always be a toy under the bed and the laundry will always be full. Kids will be kids, they run around; they jump, fight & scream so I just let them be. If I will always focus on the small things, I'll go nuts!

Life is guaranteed to be fun and chaotic. I never had a dull moment with them. They never fail to surprise me. I see them all in a different way. Each has its own personality. All of them can be fun, sometimes moody, and even downright hard-headed at times. But they all have their individual charm that makes them unique. Sometimes, in my eagerness to do what is right for them, I forget that they have their own personalities. I try my best not to mirror my life in them. To listen to what they want for themselves and not as to what I think they want. It takes a lot of conscious effort to really do that.

So, how is life with 4 kids?

Marvelously challenging. That would be my answer.

Sunday Pancakes

Today is Sunday and I decided to whip up some pancakes for morning's breakfast. Instead of the usual regular pancakes, I gave in to my demolition team's (my kids) request to try the chocolate flavored pancakes. Most of my kids, as you know, have food allergies, and chocolates are included in the list of foods that should be avoided. Thus, the grocery list was revamped with all chocolate based food products removed. Still, I settled in buying that chocolate flavored pancake sitting in the grocery shelf thinking that it wouldn't hurt if they eat this. Besides, moderate or controlled exposure to it would help them get over their sensitivity to chocolates.

So, they watch in full force as I cook the pancakes taking turns dipping their fingers in the batter. They even requested baby pancakes. Once cooked, they gobbled it up with every bite saying "yummy", "mmm".

Children are so easy to please. They take pleasure and appreciate the small things in life that we, as adults, tend to dismiss. Perhaps, if we could only rekindle the "children" in ourselves then happiness would not be so hard to find.

School Trend

It's the week of the 1st quarterly exams for most of the schools here. Not only are the kids preparing but the parents as well. As I scanned the pages of the notebooks of my daughter for her pointers for review, I gulped at the length of coverage. Whew!

The school's curriculum nowadays is much more competitive than before. My daughter who is currently in Grade 3 comes home from school loaded with 4 to 5 assignments. It doesn't leave much time for her to relax after spending the whole day at school. No wonder kids are so stressed and pressured. Before, services of a tutor would be needed when the child is performing poorly academically but now, tutors are there even for kids who are doing well in their report card. But kids are very adaptive in nature. Their malleability enables them to adjust in any given situation.

It is definitely a whole new ballgame for this generation... of achieving and expecting more from our kids. It's either you go with the flow to keep up with the advances or be left behind.

Disappointment... should we be guilty?

Yesterday, I went malling with the kids. We did the usual thing of dining out and buying a few things for school. Teens passing by were sporting the latest mobile phones and Ipods together with their branded jeans and shoes. With this trend, I would not be surprised if my eldest son ditches his mobile phone and MP3. And when he does ask for a new phone and I say no, should I feel guilty?

Today's parents are so focused on giving the "best" for their children that they end up giving everything for fear of depriving their kids. But often, we confuse deprivation with disappointment. Yes, we disappoint them when they want something and we do not give it but we definitely do not deprive them.

They need to experience disappointment from time to time to prepare them for what lies ahead. It will equip them with the necessary emotional maturity needed in handling the "downs" of life. Even if you can afford to buy what they want, let them feel disappointment. Remember, not only are we raising kids but we are also raising future fathers and mothers of this nation.

Back to School

Vacation is over as quickly as summer ends. For mothers like me, I'm sure you are also preoccupied getting ready the things for school. This also means a seemingly endless covering and labelling of books. Thank God for the notebook cover packets that are now available in the market. For moms with more than 2 kids, I'm certain you understand what I mean with "seemingly endless" book covering.

Not only do we have to organize the things for school but we also have to prepare our kids for the opening of classes. This is important as it would minimize the adjustment that they have to go through from vacation back to the rigors of school life.

For my kids, I make them sleep early at least two weeks before the scheduled opening of classes. This would enable their body clock to adjust to sleeping early and that means 9pm. As you know, my kids resist sleeping early when they know that they do not have classes the following day. So this rule is really met with a lot of resistance and side comments. The comments would include from me being "KJ" or "kill joy" or being too strict. They would even reason out that since summer would soon end then I have to allow them to sleep late because they can not do this anymore once school starts. Whew! Imagine what mothers have to go through for such a small rule.

I also involve them in preparing their stuff for school. Depending on their age, I would let them choose their shoes or bags as long as it is allowed by the school. This would also include their school accessories such as pencil cases, erasers, etc. Somehow, doing this eases the transformation. I remind them as well of the good times they had with their classmates and favorite teachers.

Lastly, this is also the time to discuss how much allowance they should get. For my high school son and grade 3 daughter, I ask them to write down in a piece of paper what they expect to spend in school. This could be for snacks or school stuff that they might want. It is also best to allot a portion of their allowance for savings. From the amount they have written, I then decide with my husband if the amount they gave is reasonable or not. Expect to have a long discussion over this which could be a good exercise for them later on in life when presenting their side or argument.

In the end, it is how we parents handle the situation. School time should never be seen as negative. Instead it should be viewed with much optimism and enthusiasm.

Zambales

I am writing this post in Villa Veneranda resort here in Iba, Zambales for a much needed R & R. A definite stress buster! This is already Day 2 of our vacation and we plan to stay here for a week. The atmosphere of being in the province is a welcome alternative to the chaos and pollution of Manila. As I write this, my kids are taking a swim and playing. I always make it a point to bring them here every summer and they always look forward to this with great anticipation.

As a mom, I believe that bringing your kids to the province enriches their character. Why? Simply because it takes them away from the television, computers and malls. These things that seems like a way of life already for a person residing in the city. It is also a chance for them to be exposed to the Zambalenos and see how life is so simple here. All of my kids except the eldest go gaga over riding a tricycle. Since I do not know who could be reading this blog and for the benefit of non-Filipino readers, it would be best to explain what a tricycle is. A tricycle is a motorcyle wherein a small and open carriage is attached. The carriage can accomodate 2 to 3 passengers. It is the usual mode of transportation in the province. When going to the "bayan" or town, they would prefer riding a tricycle than our van.

Aside from this, they meet the kids of some of the workers here and later on becomes their playmates. Here, they seldom watch television. Usually they would feed the monkeys and rabbits and run around the place. The fresh air and sunshine brings a rosy glow to their skin.

Tomorrow, we plan to go to Potipot island. I'll share our experiences there. Till the next post.

Simple pleasures

Cooling myself in a glass of special Halo Halo is something that I do during these past few days. It is special not because of its ingredients.... hey, it doesn't even have ice cream or leche flan on top... but because we made it ourselves. Since I have 4 kids, I thought it would be economical if we make our own Halo Halo than buy at 30php each. With the summer heat, the kids has been nagging me everyday to buy Halo Halo or ice cream to cool off. So, off I went and bought an ice shaver and ingredients and started our own Halo Halo buffet. The kids liked the idea and they get to choose their own ingredients or have more of their favorites. But the thing that really makes this treat special is because we get to share some bonding moments while doing it. And mind you, it is a family effort. Their dad gets to shave the ice, the older brother and sister puts in the ingredients, I put in the milk while the 2 small ones eagerly await while we finish the task.

Seeing everybody's faces fill with glee, I am reminded that we often take simple pleasures for granted. We can spend good times together with our loved ones without really spending so much. But most of all, it is a good way to build memories with our children, memories that they will bring with them when they grow up.

Online gaming

I'm writing this in an internet shop and I must admit that it is hard to compose my thoughts with the place being so noisy. An online DOTA game is currently being played by young teenage boys. For non-gamers, Warcraft DOTA , as you know, is one of the most popular online game to ever hit the world of gaming since Counterstrike. DOTA is all about teamwork, tactics and pure fun! They never seem to tire of it and even if there are other online games, they still prefer to play this game.

What is it then about online gaming that makes one play for hours on end? These boys come from middle income families and I am pretty sure that they have their own computers in their own homes. Yet, they still come here and play. They say that playing alone is "corny". There is a different excitement when one plays against each other than playing against a computer. Perhaps it is another form of socialization... similar to going to a party or bar and having some fun with your friends.

Most parents have negative perception of these online gaming trends. They see it as a distraction and see nothing positive about it. But, there are also benefits that one gets from playing these games. As long as it is not too violent, games enhances the mind of the player in such a way that they have to develop a tactic and strategy. Cooperation and teamwork to be able to win is also a must.

Come to think of it, teenagers have various ways of "hanging out" with friends and with the age of technology, playing online games is definitely here to stay.

Graduation

Today, I attended my son's Grade 7 graduation. Pride and joy filled my heart as I watched him and his father march and go up the stage. Looking so handsome & grown up in his formal barong, it made me realize how grown up my eldest son is and how far we have raised him. I couldn't help but reminisce his pre-school days when he would cling to me the minute he loses sight of me. I know that this is just a grade school graduation ceremony but it is a different feeling when it is your own child you see on stage receiving the diploma.

My son graduated as a regular student. He is an average student with no failing grades but no awards either. I must admit that there are instances wherein I wish my son would bring home a medal. And as I look at him on stage, I realized that he is a very good son. Yes, he may not have brought home any medals or awards but achievement is not measured by medals alone. In these times wherein competition is tough and parents are more focused on grades, we sometimes forget that there are other ways to measure the success of our children. High grades, awards & medals do not really guarantee a bright future. After graduation and when our kids start looking for their own niche in the workplace, it is not only medals that they must have. They must also have the proper values that will help them be an asset in the community they belong to.