Hercules

Recently acquired a male Chihuahua as a gift for my son who celebrated his 7th birthday. It was a choice between a puppy and a PSP. Suprisingly my son chose the puppy. At first, I was hesitant knowing that having a pet is not a walk in the park. It's like having another child but after considering the vote of the celebrant, and my desire not to give another hand held game device, the Chihuahua won over the PSP.

The next question is what breed we would get. Unanimous vote is a small breed dog. I wanted a low-maintenance dog that doesn't shed that much, doesn't consume that much dog food & can be kept in an apartment such as ours. After consulting the internet & asking around, it was decided that we will get a Chihuahua.

So we visited different Chihuahua breeders to see for ourselves the puppies. Finally, we got ourselves a male chocolate reddish brown Chihuahua from a reputable breeder. He conforms well to the standard breed and does not have any major defaults. One look at him and I know he was for our family. His eyes stare at you with such inquisition. I immediately fell in love with him!

Naming him was another cause for debate. Suggestions like Oreo, Toblerone, Choc-nut and more came out but finally we named him Hercules. He may lack in size but he definitely brings us enormous joy. The kids adore him & he comes with us everywhere; in our out of town trips, beach, car rides & bringing the kids to school. He comes with us everywhere as long as the place permits.

Having a pet in a family teaches the kids responsibility. They take turns taking care of him like feeding him, replenishing the water in his bottle, cleaning his poop, playing with him & more. Seeing Hercules grow healthy and strong, I know he is well loved by all of us.

Okay, enough of my hiberbation from writing. I am inspired, I feel good and I feel so blessed! As they say, the best is yet to come!

Of Rains and Memories

For the first time since the start of summer, I did not have the fan pointed directly at me. It's raining and much as I hate getting wet, it is a clear and much welcome respite from the humidity that we all felt during the summer months. Last week was the start of the rainy season as what PAGASA (our weather bureau in Manila) said so we better brace ourselves for more rains, floods and more traffic.

Plants get their much needed water during the rainy season, the grass seems greener every time it rains, and we tend to be a in a slowdown mode during this season. While typing, it is both soothing & pleasant to hear the sound of the rain on my roof with a cup of coffee on my table.

One of my fondest memories of the rainy season is when my mom would whip up a hot chicken macaroni soup to match the weather. With a lot of milk and flaked chicken, I would blow it impatiently. The feel of the warm soup running in my throat is enough to quench a child's boredom in being confined indoors.

With my own family, I'm not a good cook as my mom was but we do have our own memories to share. When the lights are out because of a storm, we would all gather in the living room and take turns telling stories to keep us pre-occupied. With all the darkness surrounding us and with just a candle, scary stories become the fave topic among all. It may sound so simple but that simplicity itself makes it endearing as it makes us bond more to each other. The absence of the TV, radio or computer makes us break free from the distractions that hound us everyday.

Well, that goes for my rainy season memory bank. Care to share yours?

Why Not?

I have 4 kids and I am proud of it.

Yes, I have been blessed to be given the chance to be the mother of four wonderful & hyperactive kids. When people ask how many kids I have & I tell them I have four, I usually get the response, " Wow, ang dami ah! Bakit?" Translated in English, it's "Wow, too many! How come?" The "how come" question implies why I allowed it to become that many. But, I just smile and shrug it off knowing that I should know better than be affected by those remarks. Sometimes, when I'm in a good mood, I simply reply "Oo nga." or "Yes, it's true."

I have 3 boys and 1 girl and I call them my Demolition team. My Demolition team is also one of the reasons why I resigned from my corporate job. I need to have a flexible time so as to focus more on raising them. I wouldn't be able to do that if somebody else owns my time. Thank God, I was able to find a way to earn my own money by having an online business. This enables me to be a stay-at-home mom and at the same time be financially independent.

Having 4 kids has challenged me in many ways. It tested my patience, my stamina and above all my faith in Him. Believe me when I say it isn't easy to raise 4 kids, wherein most of the time, I am alone with them. When you have 1 child, you put in your effort already but when you have 4 kids, a quadruple effort is needed.

My multi-tasking skills were put to test every day as I jumble my regular tasks. I have become adept at cooking and at the same time answering emails from clients, helping them in their homework and at the same time sending out projects, talking on the phone and dressing up my son to name a few.

As if that wasn't difficult enough, just last week, I had gone solo without a house help so I was left doing all the things in the house. From driving to cooking to cleaning to doing the laundry to washing the dishes to answering emails from clients and a whole lot more, I thought I can not make it through the day. But not only did I survive the day, I made it through the week.

I have also learned to appreciate solitude. Our house is only quiet a few hours a day when 3 of my kids are at school. During weekends, it gets crazier. Amidst the fighting, playing, shouting & bickering, I crave for some "quiet time" wherein I could have all my thoughts to myself.

It has also made me look at things in life not on what is ideal but what is possible at the moment. For one, our house is always in shambles. Before, I was obsessed in keeping our house orderly but after having my 3rd child, I gave up. It's not that I let the house go but somehow, I have learned to make allowances and accepted the fact that I have kids in the house. Vases will be broken, stains will be made in the sofa or elsewhere, there will always be a toy under the bed and the laundry will always be full. Kids will be kids, they run around; they jump, fight & scream so I just let them be. If I will always focus on the small things, I'll go nuts!

Life is guaranteed to be fun and chaotic. I never had a dull moment with them. They never fail to surprise me. I see them all in a different way. Each has its own personality. All of them can be fun, sometimes moody, and even downright hard-headed at times. But they all have their individual charm that makes them unique. Sometimes, in my eagerness to do what is right for them, I forget that they have their own personalities. I try my best not to mirror my life in them. To listen to what they want for themselves and not as to what I think they want. It takes a lot of conscious effort to really do that.

So, how is life with 4 kids?

Marvelously challenging. That would be my answer.

Sunday Pancakes

Today is Sunday and I decided to whip up some pancakes for morning's breakfast. Instead of the usual regular pancakes, I gave in to my demolition team's (my kids) request to try the chocolate flavored pancakes. Most of my kids, as you know, have food allergies, and chocolates are included in the list of foods that should be avoided. Thus, the grocery list was revamped with all chocolate based food products removed. Still, I settled in buying that chocolate flavored pancake sitting in the grocery shelf thinking that it wouldn't hurt if they eat this. Besides, moderate or controlled exposure to it would help them get over their sensitivity to chocolates.

So, they watch in full force as I cook the pancakes taking turns dipping their fingers in the batter. They even requested baby pancakes. Once cooked, they gobbled it up with every bite saying "yummy", "mmm".

Children are so easy to please. They take pleasure and appreciate the small things in life that we, as adults, tend to dismiss. Perhaps, if we could only rekindle the "children" in ourselves then happiness would not be so hard to find.

Slow Afternoons

What’s you favorite part of the day? For me, it’s the early afternoons wherein the house would be really quiet. Around this time of the day, only my youngest son, Aaron, is at home. Being 3 years old, he is the only one among the siblings not going to school yet.

My son & I pretty much have a routine during school days. We bring his older brother to preschool at 12 noon, back in the house by 12:30 pm then we eat lunch together. I then let him watch his favorite cartoon show of all time, Tom & Jerry, which lasts for 30 minutes then I make him take his afternoon nap.

With him sleeping, I have the house and my thoughts all by myself. I can easily finish reading the projects I have to submit or answer emails. If time permits and if my creativity cooperates, I also update my blog. But, if I am feeling lazy or nothing much to do, I cuddle with my toddler who looks so peaceful taking his afternoon respite.

Around 3pm, I wake him up so we can fetch his sister and brothers in school. He enjoys the car ride so much that I take him whenever possible.

Kinda simple, huh? Some may shrug it off, but for me, it is the reason why I do not want to be an employee again. I can’t do this if somebody else owns my time.

Wouldn’t exchange my slow afternoons for anything.

School Trend

It's the week of the 1st quarterly exams for most of the schools here. Not only are the kids preparing but the parents as well. As I scanned the pages of the notebooks of my daughter for her pointers for review, I gulped at the length of coverage. Whew!

The school's curriculum nowadays is much more competitive than before. My daughter who is currently in Grade 3 comes home from school loaded with 4 to 5 assignments. It doesn't leave much time for her to relax after spending the whole day at school. No wonder kids are so stressed and pressured. Before, services of a tutor would be needed when the child is performing poorly academically but now, tutors are there even for kids who are doing well in their report card. But kids are very adaptive in nature. Their malleability enables them to adjust in any given situation.

It is definitely a whole new ballgame for this generation... of achieving and expecting more from our kids. It's either you go with the flow to keep up with the advances or be left behind.

Disappointment... should we be guilty?

Yesterday, I went malling with the kids. We did the usual thing of dining out and buying a few things for school. Teens passing by were sporting the latest mobile phones and Ipods together with their branded jeans and shoes. With this trend, I would not be surprised if my eldest son ditches his mobile phone and MP3. And when he does ask for a new phone and I say no, should I feel guilty?

Today's parents are so focused on giving the "best" for their children that they end up giving everything for fear of depriving their kids. But often, we confuse deprivation with disappointment. Yes, we disappoint them when they want something and we do not give it but we definitely do not deprive them.

They need to experience disappointment from time to time to prepare them for what lies ahead. It will equip them with the necessary emotional maturity needed in handling the "downs" of life. Even if you can afford to buy what they want, let them feel disappointment. Remember, not only are we raising kids but we are also raising future fathers and mothers of this nation.

De-cluttering

I spent the whole day of Saturday at home. I didn't feel like going out, thanks to the gloomy weather. And so, sitting in front of my laptop, I gave my work desk a good stare. My, what clutter. Tsk, tsk.... So I decided to de-clutter my desk and throw away all the unnecessary papers, receipts, pens not working anymore, unopened letters from advertisers and file paid bills. After about an hour, my desk was clean again. It feels good to have an organized workspace.

Going back to clutter, it is odd that we accumulate so much unnecessary things in our life. We buy things, use it for a while then after some time, it sits already in the dark accumulating dust. The funny thing is we never get the chance to throw it away thinking that we might be able to use it someday. But that someday never comes.

It is hard for a person to throw things but often, practicality should be above sentimentality. I make it a personal rule to discard things that I haven't used for 1 year. Last June, I held a garage sale wherein I sold our old clothes and beddings. The price ranged from Php10.00 to Php100.00. It was a big hit! I decongested our cabinets and at the same time made some money to buy new rubber shoes for my son.

In some countries like New Zealand and Australia, the government provides a schedule wherein rubbish like old or broken appliances, furnitures can be disposed of by the residents. It encourages its citizens to give away or throw things that they don't need. As the saying goes, "Somebody's garbage can be another man's treasure."

Come to think of it. It does make sense.

Passing only Once

My dear friend recently emailed me about her friend who died of Hemorrhagic Stroke at the ripe age of 32 years old. What a waste! I could just imagine the grief his family underwent for his untimely death.

I may not know this guy personally but his story made me remember that life is indeed short. Death doesn't choose anyone nor the time, nationality and age. It strikes us when we least expect it. This ought to remind us that we must make the most of the time that we have in this world.

As parents, we are often consummated in the task of earning so as to give our children the best education that we could afford. This is a noble intention and I salute the parents who strive to prepare for their child's future. However, this would mean having both parents work. Before, a family could live solely on one income but with the rising costs of just about everything, a double income becomes a necessity.

So, how do we slow down when we know we need to work and earn? How do we aim for the work life balance? How do we make our presence felt in the lives of our children in their growing up years? Is this possible? The answer is YES. It is a matter of priorities, of distinguishing what is important and what is not. Our society today is filled with so much distractions that muddles our thinking.

The truth of the matter is we have to give up something in order to gain something. If both parents are working, they would have to give up or lessen after office activities like drinking and going out with friends so as to be home early. This would mean learning to say NO to accepting more projects or pushing for overtime. Instead it would mean getting home early so as to have time to tutor the kids, have dinner with them or spend more leisure time with them. Yes, it entails a lot of sacrifice but in the end it would be worth it knowing that you did not miss out on your children's lives.

It is not just about making money and building a career. It is not about the number of cars you have or the number of zeroes your bank account has. It is about making memories with your loved ones... of sharing simple pleasures. These are the things that would be relevant at the end of the day that no matter when Death would call, we would have no regrets.

I'd like to end this post by a song that was sung by a priest in a recollection that I attended. I could not remember the whole song but the line that touched me most was:

"Show me your kindness,

Show me your love

For I shall pass this way only ONCE."

Back to School

Vacation is over as quickly as summer ends. For mothers like me, I'm sure you are also preoccupied getting ready the things for school. This also means a seemingly endless covering and labelling of books. Thank God for the notebook cover packets that are now available in the market. For moms with more than 2 kids, I'm certain you understand what I mean with "seemingly endless" book covering.

Not only do we have to organize the things for school but we also have to prepare our kids for the opening of classes. This is important as it would minimize the adjustment that they have to go through from vacation back to the rigors of school life.

For my kids, I make them sleep early at least two weeks before the scheduled opening of classes. This would enable their body clock to adjust to sleeping early and that means 9pm. As you know, my kids resist sleeping early when they know that they do not have classes the following day. So this rule is really met with a lot of resistance and side comments. The comments would include from me being "KJ" or "kill joy" or being too strict. They would even reason out that since summer would soon end then I have to allow them to sleep late because they can not do this anymore once school starts. Whew! Imagine what mothers have to go through for such a small rule.

I also involve them in preparing their stuff for school. Depending on their age, I would let them choose their shoes or bags as long as it is allowed by the school. This would also include their school accessories such as pencil cases, erasers, etc. Somehow, doing this eases the transformation. I remind them as well of the good times they had with their classmates and favorite teachers.

Lastly, this is also the time to discuss how much allowance they should get. For my high school son and grade 3 daughter, I ask them to write down in a piece of paper what they expect to spend in school. This could be for snacks or school stuff that they might want. It is also best to allot a portion of their allowance for savings. From the amount they have written, I then decide with my husband if the amount they gave is reasonable or not. Expect to have a long discussion over this which could be a good exercise for them later on in life when presenting their side or argument.

In the end, it is how we parents handle the situation. School time should never be seen as negative. Instead it should be viewed with much optimism and enthusiasm.

Rainy June

As I write this, rain continues to pour and the sky is filled with darkness even if it is still early in the afternoon. Is this a sign of a gloomy afternoon to match my sullen feeling? What is it with rain that makes one feel downcast? I'm sure there is a scientific explanation about this but I am too lazy to research about it. And I prefer not to dwell so much on this feeling.

So what do you like to do when the rain starts to fall on a lazy afternoon? For starters, here's my list:

• spend the afternoon in bed with a good book surrounded by lots of pillows
• update my blog
• listen to soft music
• watch a horror movie with my kids
• catch up on my snooze
• eat champorado ( a warm glutinous rice chocolate )
• cuddle with my loved ones

That's all I can think of right now. You are welcome to share your own fave activity for the benefit of other readers and of yours truly. Tralalala....

My Mom's day

Today is my mother's birthday & I choose to remember her through this post. She died rather unexpectedly but in a way that was easy for her and for everybody. She didn't die of any lingering disease. Perhaps, it was God's loving way of taking her.

If there is one word that could describe my mother, it would be PATIENT. She is the most patient woman I have ever known. When I was a child, I wasn't really that close to her. I was more of a daddy's girl but as I entered my teens and became a mother, I became closer to her. Being a well kept woman that she was, she would make sure that she looked presentable even at her old age. She enjoys buying clothes and shoes and would share with me her latest finds. Visits to the mall is something that we both enjoy.

When I was in my teens, I would ask extra money from her when I would have meet-ups with my friends and she would readily give me. When I had my suitors, I would not hesitate to confide to her knowing that she would understand. All throughout my growing up years, there was only one instance wherein my mom spanked me.

She was also a good cook and it is unfortunate that she seldoms does this. She is a working mother and handles our family business full time especially when my daddy got sick.I would always look forward to her cooking of Paksiw na Pata.

We also had our share of misunderstandings especially when I started having a family of my own. There was one incident wherein she would bring my 2 year old daughter alone, without a yaya or baby sitter at McDonald's. I totally disapproved of this because she was not as strong as she used to be and she would be forgetful at times. But through it all, she was someone I could count on to look over my kids when I am out.

The saying that you only get to appreciate your mom when you start having a child of you own is really true. I miss my mom terribly and how I wish she is still with us.

An angel's letter

I've been feeling low and sad today for reasons I know God knows. I feel as if I am amidst turmoil and I do not know where to go. My heart is full of uncertainty that I never felt for quite a while. But then, my angel came and went inside my room. She had been standing behind my back for quite some time now before I noticed her. She did not want to disturb me as I sit here in front of my laptop. She knows I am working. Sensing that she wants to say something, I asked her why and instead of replying, she just handed me a letter she made complete with drawings.

It read:

Dear Mama,

Mama bakit ka ba malungkot? Di ba dapat happy ka kasi masaya kami kaya dapat masaya ka rin. Kasi magiging malungkot din kami. Alam ko kung bakit ka malungkot kasi yata mama ....... Tama ba ako? Sabihin mo sa akin bakit ka malungkot. Sana masaya ka na kasi naawa ako sa iyo mama.

Sorry for the redundancy but that was how she wrote it. My angel, Dane, is a very sweet daughter, who despite being 8 years old only, is very sensitive to my emotions. I couldn't help but get teary eyed when I read the letter. Her letter was so simple yet so pure. In her own words, she was able to soothe my heart.

I just gave her a hug and she definitely made me smile...