Why Not?

I have 4 kids and I am proud of it.

Yes, I have been blessed to be given the chance to be the mother of four wonderful & hyperactive kids. When people ask how many kids I have & I tell them I have four, I usually get the response, " Wow, ang dami ah! Bakit?" Translated in English, it's "Wow, too many! How come?" The "how come" question implies why I allowed it to become that many. But, I just smile and shrug it off knowing that I should know better than be affected by those remarks. Sometimes, when I'm in a good mood, I simply reply "Oo nga." or "Yes, it's true."

I have 3 boys and 1 girl and I call them my Demolition team. My Demolition team is also one of the reasons why I resigned from my corporate job. I need to have a flexible time so as to focus more on raising them. I wouldn't be able to do that if somebody else owns my time. Thank God, I was able to find a way to earn my own money by having an online business. This enables me to be a stay-at-home mom and at the same time be financially independent.

Having 4 kids has challenged me in many ways. It tested my patience, my stamina and above all my faith in Him. Believe me when I say it isn't easy to raise 4 kids, wherein most of the time, I am alone with them. When you have 1 child, you put in your effort already but when you have 4 kids, a quadruple effort is needed.

My multi-tasking skills were put to test every day as I jumble my regular tasks. I have become adept at cooking and at the same time answering emails from clients, helping them in their homework and at the same time sending out projects, talking on the phone and dressing up my son to name a few.

As if that wasn't difficult enough, just last week, I had gone solo without a house help so I was left doing all the things in the house. From driving to cooking to cleaning to doing the laundry to washing the dishes to answering emails from clients and a whole lot more, I thought I can not make it through the day. But not only did I survive the day, I made it through the week.

I have also learned to appreciate solitude. Our house is only quiet a few hours a day when 3 of my kids are at school. During weekends, it gets crazier. Amidst the fighting, playing, shouting & bickering, I crave for some "quiet time" wherein I could have all my thoughts to myself.

It has also made me look at things in life not on what is ideal but what is possible at the moment. For one, our house is always in shambles. Before, I was obsessed in keeping our house orderly but after having my 3rd child, I gave up. It's not that I let the house go but somehow, I have learned to make allowances and accepted the fact that I have kids in the house. Vases will be broken, stains will be made in the sofa or elsewhere, there will always be a toy under the bed and the laundry will always be full. Kids will be kids, they run around; they jump, fight & scream so I just let them be. If I will always focus on the small things, I'll go nuts!

Life is guaranteed to be fun and chaotic. I never had a dull moment with them. They never fail to surprise me. I see them all in a different way. Each has its own personality. All of them can be fun, sometimes moody, and even downright hard-headed at times. But they all have their individual charm that makes them unique. Sometimes, in my eagerness to do what is right for them, I forget that they have their own personalities. I try my best not to mirror my life in them. To listen to what they want for themselves and not as to what I think they want. It takes a lot of conscious effort to really do that.

So, how is life with 4 kids?

Marvelously challenging. That would be my answer.

Frame of Mind

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they have been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It is an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It is a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary.

-author unknown-

When I came upon this quotation, it strikes me so much because it magnifies what I exactly needed in a time when a decision needs to be done. Often, decisions are so hard to make because of various concerns that we have. We are taken aback by the prospect of venturing into the unknown, of doing something that is not sure. Basically, we are so comfortable or "lazy" in our place in the sun that the thought of leaving what we are used to seems to be out of the question. The practicality in us makes us lose our faith in taking the challenge. But we must not succumb to this fear. Nothing is impossible in this world. Nothing is out of our hands. Nobody is too old to start again. In the different paths that we take, we may stumble but it is in our rising and starting over that we shine.

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Lately, I have been so preoccupied that it seems time passed so quickly. Our house underwent repairs so it was really chaotic. With all the noise and dust, I have somehow managed to do my general cleaning in time before the year ends, put up Christmas decors and continue my regular tasks. Time could mean a lot to different people. It could mean having too much time or the lack of it. For those who are busy, the 24 hours that we have is not enough. But for those who are "killing the time", it is boring. It all boils down as to what situation you are into. As they say, we all have the same 24 hours, it is how we use that matters.

Climbing a Tree

When was the last time you wished for something really hard? Having been schooled in a Catholic school all my life, I believed in the power of prayers. As a child, I would pray for trivial things like a new toy, to go somewhere fun or to get high grades in school. It's been years since I prayed for something really hard. This is not because I am losing faith but perhaps I really didn't want something as much as my heart desired.

Each one of us has our own faith depending on our own religion. It doesn't matter to whom you believe in. What matters is that you know that there is someone out there whom you can count on in times when matters are out of your hands. However, God helps only those who help themselves. It is not enough to just pray and pray and not do your part. It is not enough to be cocky and complacent. Laziness is not at all tolerated by Him.

In achieving our dreams in life, there are many pathways to take. It is usually not a straight line. You may need to go a step backward in order to move forward. Just like in climbing a tree, there are many ways to do it. Having brains is not enough. Having guts alone is also not enough. You need a mixture of both to reach the top combined with a lot of prayers to sustain you when things are getting tough. Surely, with this combination, you would reach the top of the tree.

Bits and Pieces

All Soul's Day passed and each was one was reminded of their departed loved ones. People flocked to the cemetery bringing flowers, candles & food. It is also the time when families get reunited since this is a holiday and mostly, people went back to their own provinces. But I wonder, in the midst of all the fun & noise, can one truly remember and pray for their deceased family? My parents are both gone now and I never visited them on November 1. I would rather go on an ordinary day when there are less people. In that way, I can pray for them in tranquility and in solitude.

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I'm sure most of you know already that Joseph "Erap" Estrada was already pardoned by the ever powerful and mighty President Arroyo. This did not come as a surprise to me anymore since I wrote about this in my previous post that a pardon was seen forthcoming. The administration justifies its decision by saying the man has repented already with 6 years in house arrest in Tanay province. But, did Erap really repented? It isn't forgiveness he wants but freedom. So how could you forgive someone who has not truly repented? Well, all things said, it is only in the Philippines where corruption is tolerated with a lot of icing on it.

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Recently watched 30 Days of Night and it was freaking scary! Initially, the movie was slow but later on it switched gears and there was lot of screaming. As the title implies, it was 30 days of pure evil and terror that one would fervently wish for the 30 days to come to an end. I will not tell you details of the story so as not to spoil the fun but if you are keen on scary films then this one is definitely for you.

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